Hitsuzen

必然

This Japanese/Chinese character has meaning which feels appropriate to write about right now. I was doing some Japanese calligraphy with my neighbour back in May last year and she asked me what character I wanted to practise writing. I originally chose the word, guzen, which means interesting coincidence and she suggested hitsuzen, instead, for its more profound meaning.

I love the Japanese language for many reasons, one being its easy pronunciation and orderly grammatical patterns. There are definite rules of structure with few exceptions, unlike the English language. Another is for its adoption of Chinese characters, which interspersed throughout the phonetic spelling, Hiragana and Katakana, make it a little more accessible to Western students, than Chinese script.

Another reason is for its silent reference to oneself, where the word "I" is rarely used. It's more likely that "my" will appear to denote belongings and a finger pointed at ones nose will suffice to refer to oneself as the subject of a question. I think I like this because it reflects the Japanese idea of the lesser importance of the individual, than the collective.

Western society places much value on the individual, including achievement and status and I think it's really out of balance in this regard. It's a very 'me' world and we are losing a sense of connection, when our term of reference is always, how does this affect me?

Anyway, the reason I like the word hitsuzen, is because I'm starting to notice a lot of coincidences every day now and have decided to record as many of these as I can, for a while, to see whether they increase, the more I focus on their occurrence.

Here's a start:

I went to our local organic vegie store, Flanneries and ran into our old room-mate, Miguel, who lived in the granny flat downstairs in Palm beach in 2006. The last I saw him, he was living with his girlfriend out the back of Tallebudgera Valley, so I was surprised to see him here in Brisbane doing his shopping, as he was to see me.

Just that morning, our friend Maria had visited, with her son Miguel, so I was thinking about the coincidence of names.

The reason we asked Miguel to move out of the granny flat, was because it became obvious that he didn't like little kids in his living space,when he got quite irate with Sage over a few minor events.

Maria's son Miguel also gets irate with Sage, because he wants to protect his space and specifically his brother, from perceived threat from Sage.

While I was chatting with adult Miguel, I told him about my surgery and remembered that he had accidentally seen my breasts one day and wondered if he was remembering that as we talked.

I was on the phone, half nude when he came up to the back stairs to pay the rent. The curtain was open and he just stood there in shock for a few seconds, not knowing where to go or where to look. I hung up the phone and went and got some clothes on and came back to where he was waiting, looking very embarrassed.

I was a little embarrassed too, but I think I said something like "It's o.k., you've seen breasts before, right?"

It was good to see him again, because I often felt bad about asking him to leave, but seeing him this time made me realise that he didn't suffer from the move. He had experiences which he was meant to have, like living with his now ex-girlfriend and was obviously capable of landing on his feet after disappointments.

It made me feel good about the decision to ask him to go, because at the time, it was causing us some angst. After he left, Julie moved in and we had all the wonderful shared moments of getting to know her and benefiting from the pleasure she took in living with a family with young children.

Originally I thought the meeting was just a coincidence of names, but now as I write, I think I was meant to meet him again, to forgive myself for the past.