Joy

I will be attending the funeral of my very good friend, Joy, tomorrow, so I wanted to write something about her in preparation for what will be a very sad moment for me and for many others whose lives have been touched by Joy.

I met Joy one morning, through our side fence, a few days after we moved in as her neighbours. She fascinated me from that very first moment and I quickly became drawn to hearing about her life and the many events which she shared with me over the next few years.

She encouraged us to go on our trip in 2005, when friends and family members poo-pooed the idea. She taught me how to paint ceramics, mixing the oils with the paint powders and the appropriate brush strokes. She showed me how to use acrylic paints, using a soft-edge style, which greatly enhanced my painting technique. She encouraged me to paint and create and explore as many of my talents as I possibly could. She basically encouraged me to try to understand and appreciate my own potential, with passion and vigor.

She had a saying, which she repeated many times, which I never really appreciated until now. I used to think it was rather negative and stemmed from her own frustrations, but recently I began to see it as an example of great wisdom.

She used to say to me, "If you keep bending backwards for everybody in your life, one day, you'll find that you can no longer straighten up." I think she used to tell me this, because she could see what a dedicated mother I was and because she felt I was ignoring the whole aspect of myself that is not used in the day-to-day care of children. She witnessed first-hand, how hard I worked, each and every day during the time I lived next door to her, to feed and clean after and mother my children.

I think she saw herself in me. I can't boast the kind of talent that Joy had. She was an opera singer, jazz singer, painter and ceramic artist as well as a great cook and amazing host.

I wish I had half of the talent that Joy had, but all the same, I suppose what we shared in common, was a love of art and the creative drive to make objects of beauty.

I'm going to miss Joy. Joy, wherever you are, please know that I love you, that you made a huge contribution to my life and that I am grateful beyond measure to the encouragement you gave and the little bit of your life and the skills you so selflessly shared with me.